A friend of mine many of you know as Mehlaneese posted a HOT TOPIC tonight that hit home because my daughter and I just had a heart to heart talk on the subject of S.E.X. Now this conversation isn’t anything new for us, she and I started entertaining the subject lightly when she was in junior high veiled by discussions surrounding the way a young lady should dress, talk and conduct herself in public. As she aged, our conversations matured as well. We discussed the body and the many changes it goes through. We talked about what God expects and how our body is not our own and we even went so far to establish a mother-daughter “let’s talk about sex” day once a month, which we still do to this day. Now you may be thinking, that’s a bit much Shay and under any other circustances I might agree. But I had Ariole at 18 when I was a senior in high school. So as for me and my house, “we’re going to talk about everything!!!”
First the issue of birth control: Many feel it gives the child permission to have sex. Maybe? Maybe not? I believe parents know their children IF they raise their children and IF you feel you know your child is having sex, do what you feel you need to do. As for me and mine, prayer, trust and talking have worked to date. So keep praying for us 
I have a dear friend with a daughter on birth control and we’ve discussed on a number of occasions how birth control may be relief for the parent that doesn’t want to deal with parenting….but she assures me that she firmly believes she’s protecting her child. As friends, we can agree to disagree. But I believe none of us, myself included, would have to worry about it if we truly lived by the Word of God and TRAINED UP our daughter’s in the way that they should go. I am not saying they will not make mistakes, but if raising them were our focus, many of these issues and others like them would not be Hot Topics.
Second the issue of how soon is too soon to have sex….the answer is simple; anytime before marriage is too soon. God’s answer is always the best answer. I learned with my own that she already knows mama had pre-marital sex. She already knows mama sinned. She already knows mama is not perfect. So the best thing I can do for her is ACKNOWLEDGE all of that and magnify the TRUTH that she is a gift, that’s priceless and treasured by God. And because of such, she is more than worth the wait for the right man that asks her hand in marriage. Now, I know you’re saying, “Good luck with that Shay,” and I will be the first to admit that because it is rare and because I didn’t hear many talk this way growing up- it forces me to do alot of praying—-but I believe it is attainable by mine and yours if WE put in the time and work, for faith without works is dead. For the sake of our daughters, will you believe that with me?
And last but not least…the issue of our girls growing up into young ladies….it is going to happen so fast that if we neglect to talk about it we will live to regret it. My daughter is always saying now that she’s 17, “Mom, I’m not a little girl anymore or Mom, I know what I’m doing.” That scares me so bad because I used to say the same thing and I ended up pregnant. Once you get here, by here I mean: high school, boyfriends, hormones, hanging out, secrets, the whos-who-in-the-click and so on–the line of hands-on/hands-off parenting moves from day to day. Once you get here, you have to start accepting your past performance as parent and embrace the young 17 year old in front of you. Once you get here, you allow her to make some decisions and live with the consequences. Once you get here, and by here I mean: a place were you see all the decisions you’ve made as a parent manifest themselves through her…it’s beautiful to watch and sad at the same time because she now is moving closer to sitting behind the steering wheel for her life. Right now, at this very minute, I am praying God is proud of how I’ve handled the blessing He’s given me. And I pray to Him on your behalf that you look at your daughter and pray the same thing.
We are all in this together. I need you to help me reinforce the importance of waiting and if you need me to speak life to yours if they didn’t, I’m here and I’m a living testimony of His forgiving grace and mercy. I hope this post helps you. Thanks Mehlaneese Cook for a great Hot Topic.
In the meantime, to all of my sisters in Christ, enjoy raising strong God-fearing girls/teenagers/young ladies/women. This world will thank you for it.
For Our Daughter,
Blessings,
Evang. Shay Easter-Bills http://www.ShayBills.com
